Sunlight

Under the mid-day sun, every inch of land was baked to golden brown. I slowly walked towards the path that leads me home. I sighed and looked up at the sunny blue sky. I was in dilemma. Upon reaching home, I went straight to my bedroom and lay on my bed. I closed my eyes. My brain had become the battle field between good and evil. I put my hand on my forehead and began to think. Those words were ringing in my ears and I still remember it to the present. The words struck me and made me sit up and take notice. I should live life to the fullest and that I should not disappoint those who showered me with love, affection and material things. I could not disappoint them and from that day on, I took stock of my behaviour and set goals for myself. That day was the day I began to change. I was eager to turn over a new leaf and I definitely said that I am a better person today than before.

Me

Is it that you can't be yourself because you know that people wouldn't like you so you're left with no choice but to be like someone else? It's getting on my nerves, it's not fair. There can be only one of me and no one can be as good as me but me. Grow up. It's acceptable for someone younger to do so but this is different.. wtf man seriously?

Lies

I hate how I still have that little feeling in me, I hate how I can't just leave it behind and forget about it, I hate how I pretend and lie to myself about it, I hate it. I don't want anything to do with it. It bloody sucks and it's slowly killing me. I know I'm stronger than this, what happened to me? Keeping myself busy is so far the only way not to think about it. Maybe that's why I love being busy, I just get to forget everything. At least for awhile. So much emotions and feelings bottled up in me, I just don't know who and when to pour it all out. I've always been the type of person who bottles everything up and it's not good. Now that bottle's slowly breaking. It amazes me how I can just pretend everything's fine when it's clearly not.

Literally broke down in school, in the teachers room. I stormed out like a bitch crying and just pushed everyone who came running behind me trying to comfort me away. Stress and feelings has got into me. I need a break.

So Long Farewell

GOODBYE 2012

*raise glass* To a new start! *cling*

Time

After months and months of thinking about the what if's I've finally come to realize I have no point or reason to be doing that. I have wasted nights with unreasonable thoughts going in my mind, a few tears and all those rants to certain people. "Let go" is something I hear and see so often, it seems so easy to do but it's one of the hardest things I could ever do. You can't force that feeling out of you even how much you try. It takes time. It took me quite sometime and it's time for me to finally say I've let go. Being alone for the past few months helped me so much. It helped me find myself again and grow into someone better than before. I might have lost one but I gained many more who are willing to be there through the ups and downs. I've confronted and apologed for what I have done/been to people I've hurt. I'm letting go of the past so more wonderful things can come into my life and so I can be happier.

One day, I'll find that special someone. Who can make me feel the way I've felt when I was in love or just make me feel loved. There's is someone for me out there and I won't get to find that someone if I keep sticking to the past.

Cheers to letting go of the past

Artist VS Poet

"Never thought goodbye would come so very quick.
But your wish is my command, command my wish.
Should you ever change your mind, just please remember this:
That I have loved you always and forever more."

Love them, Love their songs, I just love them.

Standing tall

I am ready and can't wait to start a new year, I just wanna start fresh. This year's passing by really quickly. Good. It's not that I hate this year or anything. Many things had happened, good or bad it happened for a reason and I'm glad for the things that happen happened. I wouldn't be here standing tall (not literally) and stronger than before if all those things I went through this year didn't happen. And of course I didn't go through it by myself,I thought I was but I had so many people helping me go through it that I just didn't see and I am so thankful now. I might have lost some people who helped me along the way but I also gained more than I lost. No regrets. I am pretty proud of myself but I wanna make myself prouder especially in studies. I've worked so hard to achieve something I've always wanted since I started which is cheerleading. I have managed to be better than before and to represent the wonderful country I live in.  It's nothing that big but you know it feels good. It is a great honor. And now I just need that same strive I have for cheerleading in my studies. I know I can. I just need to stop being a pig. Oink.